As you can imagine this has been a rather surreal week for all of us, and forgive me if this post is a bit maudlin, and a bit of a meander. Some of this will be me figuring out my thoughts for this week.
First, I learned that everyone should have what Dave Ramsey calls a “love drawer,” that’s where you have all of your relevant information for your spouse or whoever is going to be dealing with your affairs after your death. Patrick did not have this, I don’t know if Jeff and I really have one organized properly. But, this would be where you have all of your accounts listed, how your bills are paid, and all of the information that will be needed when you die. I know my Mom had emailed me where hers is in case something happened about a year ago.
Second, I’ve learned you shouldn’t take for granted someone will be there longer. It sounds cheesy, but don’t put off seeing someone thinking they’ll still be there tomorrow, it may not happen, no matter how much you think it will. We certainly didn’t think Patrick would die last week.
Third, have a good support system. I’m tremendously blessed that way. This entire week someone has brought us a meal every night. We have enough food to last us for at least part of next week, which is good, because I’m sure there will be more to deal with. And, all I’ve had to do is say I might need babysitting for something and people have volunteered to watch the kids, do whatever I’ve needed.
Also, I’m always amazed at how God cares for us in the little details. That night, my brother and his wife were at my house when Mom called, as was my friend Tara. My Mom called and said to come over, and all 4 of us were able to go as soon as she called, and Tara stayed with the kids, all night. The victims services person who came to help was one of Mom’s good friends at church. Even in the worst of times I can see God’s hand in all of this. You just have to look.
Well, I’ve deleted the oddest parts of the post that weren’t sounding right, and I”m off to the next step in the service planning. I’m amazed at how many details there are to plan.